Saturday, November 9, 2013

Mixed signals.

Burned that bridge in haste. Impulsively. As fast as I could. At that very moment, it seemed like the only rational thing to do. Its time to declare war my head told me and I just couldn't find it in my heart to make room for the benefit of the doubt.  Its the last place I want to be. You weren't there anyway. Why does every word I write to you still sting so deeply, taste so bitter. I feel it, right here, in the middle, my heart. Overtaken by the intensity of that feeling.  Heavy emotions, you always let them intervene it makes me feel weighed down. The anchor, yours. Stop dragging me down, thats not what you do. You lift me up. You confuse me. I told you, I only see the good in you. But lets get real, I always saw the best in you. Come closer. Now go away. Stop misreading the signals.. Go away.

Friday, November 8, 2013

The capacity to accept delay.

You told me not to worry. Wait and see. Things fall into place. I believe every word you said so I waited. Like I always do. Your wink, a mentors pat on the back. You trained me, oh so perfectly. To wait. To wait for every piece of the puzzle to fit together. To wait for things to fall into place. The way they should be, you said. You see I waited, just like you asked me to. You see, I waited .. a little longer than you asked me to. Always remember, the rule of the two extremes you said. Letting go and holding on and you told me all about the very fine line that separates them. You said both need patience and I knew even then I still had to wait. Do you remember? I was unable to see where I stood, on which side of the two extremes. How did I get there? Blinded. Distracted. Alone. 
I was too busy waiting.. Waiting like you taught me to, waiting .. for you.