Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Perfect flaws.

Ever since you received that phone call, all you think about is.. what to say. Jotted down on a piece of paper are your answers to all the "tell me about yourself." "what can you do that anyone else can't?" "why should we hire you?" questions. You think of every possible positive thing you could say about yourself. Carefully choosing only the concinving and powerful words, the "right" things to say.
Of course completely oblivious to the fact that the golden question is.. 

What is your biggest flaw?

So you sat there, stunned. The voice in your head is confused, puzzled. Your facial expression goes blank. What? Me? Talking about my flaws? No. That isn't happening. Even if we both know (the annoying voice in my head and I)  I'm not anywhere close to perfect, in fact I'm far from that. But no, no one gets to hear it from me. I need to be  perfect for this, I can't just admit to my oh so many flaws. 

Right there and then, I said.. 

Well here we go.. For starters, I'm arrogant. Just the way I've always been, too proud with an ego too big to carry around. I'm paranoid. I tend to make up stories and never-ending scenarios in my head, all of which I end up believing myself. I may have the all put together image, truth is I am a little too crazy in the head. The voice in my head and I don't talk much, but when we do, there is always someone around to listen. That doesn't always go so well. I don't know what I want. I suffer from a chronic disease called, uncertainty. That is slowly eating me up inside. I am very much of a perfectionist, that it kills me, let alone is slowly killing everyone around me. They hate me for that. I forgive but I don't forget, I never forget. As much as I seem careless, a B- would really upset me so much. I'm pathetically emotional. Too sensitive for my own good. I constantly worry too much that I may not live up to my very own expectations, most of the time I'm too hard on myself. 

Hired? Maybe, maybe not.
Point is.. That is all of which, make me who I am.
Take a moment, be grateful for your flaws.