Sometimes we say really hurtful things to/about people we very much care about and love. Sometimes we don't mean any of it. Sometimes we mean it but never had the reason and chance to hash it out honestly, so we wait. We wait for the appropriate and very inappropriate moment, we wait for the conflict. An argument, or a fight. And that's when we decide its time to say it all. Or, wait .. we never actually decide, we just do without thinking all the hurtful words come out. Your feelings exposed. When its over, when the air is finally cleared. All you could think of is; Oh no I didn't! That's when it hits you, the guilt, why did I? Regret. Resulting in a mess of hurt feelings. No matter how much you think you're past everything that was said, you're past the argument, you're over the fight, but you or they will never forget. The words leave an eternal mark, there's no way around it. You will always have it in mind. Resentment, or something like that.
Lesson: Regardless of the many many differences you have with your surroundings, there are things you know you shouldn't say. Things you never want to say. Things you don't want to clear, because you can't help getting all hurt or defensive when other people point out a few things that they think you could stand a little improvement in. You try, try your best, but it still happens.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
It's funny how I give everyone around me the never lose hope speech. And a couple of days ago, I talked myself into giving up hope in a certain something. Maybe that's the only way I'd be able to move on instead of lingering and waiting up. Some things aren't worth the wait anyway. Maybe, it didn't happen yet, because it never will.
I watched Madeline over a grillion times throughout my childhood, I should know by now "you can't make something happen just by wishing for it." right?
Ramdhan Mubarak y'all, x
Posted by A at 2:26 AM